If i was your man
Baby you'll never worry 'bout what i do
I'd be coming home back to you
Every night, doing you right
You're the type of woman who deserve good things
Fist full of diamonds, handful of rings
Baby you're a star and i just wanna show you, you are
You should let me love you
Let me be the one to give you everything you want and need
Baby good love and protection
Make me your selection
Show you the way love's supposed to be
Baby you should let me love you
"When we meet the right person to love, when we're at the right place, at the right time, that's chance. When you meet someone you're attracted to, that's not a choice. That's chance. Being caught up in a moment is not a choice. That's also a chance.
The difference is what happens afterwards. When will you take that infatuation, that crush, that mind-blowing attraction to the next level? That's when all sanity goes back, you sit down and contemplate whether you want to make this into a concrete relationship or just a fling.
If you decide to love a person, even with his faults, that's not chance. That's choice. When you choose to be with a person, no matter what, that's choice. Even if you know there are many people out there who are more attractive, smarter, and richer than your mate, and yet, you decide to love your mate just the same. That's choice.
Infatuation, crushes, and attraction come to us by chance. But true love that lasts is truly a choice. A choice that we make.
Regarding soulmates, there's a beautiful movie quote that I believe is so true about this: "Fate brings you together, but it's still up to you two make it happen." I believe that soulmates do exist, that there is truly someone made especially for you. But it's still up to you to make the choice if you're gonna do something about it or not.
We may meet our soulmates by chance, but loving and staying with our soulmate is still a choice we have to make. We may have been searching too hard for the perfect one and so the saying goes, "Fret not, for the perfect one will come to you without you having to search for her..." but then again, we came to the world not to find someone perfect to love, BUT to learn how to love an imperfect person perfectly..."
It's true when people say you'll only learn the real value of things when you lose them. I have. And regretting doesn't help.
I believe everyone, like me, has at one point of time or another, wished that they could turn back the hands of time to undo certain things they did or said. I know that it isn't possible to do that, but there are things that can be done to salvage what's left of any situation. It just depends on whether you really want it or not.
"...love is probably the most strangest thing in the world. it hits you when you least expect it, it gives so generously, yet takes selfishly. at most times it has regard for others and yet, we sometimes still feel the pain in which this unusual feeling brings..."
ripped this off someone's blog cause i found it to be nice yet sad.
THIS IS WHAT A GIRL TOLD A GUY
if you see me walking the road with someone else,
its not because i like his company...
its because you're not brave enough to walk beside me
if you hear me talking about him all the time
its not because he pleases me...
its because you are too deaf to hear the beating of my heart
if you find me falling with someone new
its not because i love him...
its because you're not there to catch me fall
if you feel lost, i am too nowhere
i too don't know where the road is going
are we gonna cross each other's path
or just completely turn around?
will we just let go of what we had
or go to the place where love is bound
don't let me walk with him
it's you i want to walk with...
don't let me talk of him,
it's you i want to talk with...
don't let me fall for him,
it's you i want to fall in love with...
THE GUY'S REPLY TO THE GIRL
when you thought i wasn't brave enough to walk beside you
i was behind you every step of the way
still filled with awe because of the beauty that stood before me
when you thought i was too deaf to hear your heartbeat
i didn't want to misread the signs
and i was afraid to lose you forever
when you thought i wasn't there to catch you,
it was because you never gave me the chance
you never reached the bottom,
you've already grabbed a branch
if you feel like you are nowhere, i too am lost
i too don't know where the road is going
are we just going to turn around
or are we going to cross each other's path
will we let go of what we had
or go to the place where love is bound?
don't let me walk alone
i want to walk by your side
don't let me talk of something else
it's you i want to talk with
don't let me fall for someone else
it's you i want to fall in lov with...
"sometimes love hurts, but if it doesn't hurt, then it isn't love"
Open up your heart to me
And say what's on your mind, oh yes
I know that we have been through so much pain
But I still need you in my life this time, and
I need you tonight
I need you right now
I know deep within my heart
It doesn't matter if it's wrong or right
I really need you tonight
I figured out what to say to you
But sometimes the words they, they come out so wrong, oh yes they do
And I know in time that you will understand
That what we have is so right this time, and
I need you tonight
I need you right now
I know deep within my heart
It doesn't matter if it's wrong or right
All those endless times
We tried to make it last forever more
And baby I know
I need you
I know deep within my heart
It doesnt matter if it's wrong or right
I really need you, oh
I need you tonight
I need you right now
I know deep within my heart
It doesn't matter if it's wrong or right
All I know is baby
I really need you tonight
Backstreet Boys - I Need You Tonight
hey guys and girlies. sorry for the not updating my blog for more than a week. lazy i guess so what to do. lol. can't exactly remember what i have been doing for the past week of so since i last updated.
i guess there is alot of meeting ups with chubang. wonder why too. and.. eh.. i seriously cannot remember what i did. i did get get a pierre cardin wallet though and i like it. it has 2 compartments for pictures but currently its empty cause i really don't have a picture that is worth looking at every moment to put inside. in the past when i had such pictures, i did not have such a wallet. now that i have such a wallet, i do not have such pictures. damn!!
i hardly dream when i fall asleep. basically its just "plop" and off i go to outer space. but recently i have had 2 dreams which seemed so real to me. i felt that it was really happening to me but when i woke up, all i could do was to laugh at myself for being so stupid. i really hope to have that dream tonight as well and hope that i would never awake from it. don't bother asking me about it cause i am never gonna tell you guys. but i guess its pretty obvious cause to some of your, my life is like an open-book. lol
christmas is round the corner. feels so wierd this time round. something's missing?? yup, guess you are right. but anyways lets look on the bright side. i have developed a liking for the creative zen micro player. wonder if anyone would be getting that for me?? *hint hint*
i think that's it for me. nothing much to talk about. so until next time. ciao!
how y'all doing my people? sorry for the lack of updates recently. been busy doing many many things. lol. been shopping, going out with people i just know and of course meeting my gay-partners marc and chubang. lol.
school should have started this week but what the hell, i just declared one more week of further holidays. cool ain't it. but i think its worth it. going out, getting some stuffs done, meeting new people. watched "casshern" last night at cineleisure and i almost died in due course of the movie. one and a half hour into the movie then i finally figured out what casshern was. the next time we watch a movie, we would choose the movie not chubang. lol
today is the only day i am really at home. past few days have been waking up at 12, looking at the clock and saying "oh shit" and then rushing out after my bath. lol. shan't mention certain things here. lol.
alright, i guess i shall update any new developments and stuff in the near future. see you guys.
bombshell #2
do i deserve to be treated like this? am i being made use of? why must all these happen? heard something that made me smile but within 2 mins, the smile was wiped of my face again. how much a person changes in 3 years. she is alien to me nowadays. the things she did i still cannot make sense of. why is she doing all these?
life never follows a fixed plan. but is it meant to twist you in and out till you feel like giving up? to love someone means going through thick and thin, rain or shine with that person. it also means protecting that person you love from getting hurt. but what would you do if the person you love is the one inflicting all these hurt onto you. walk-away? it would be the most rational thing to do. but what if you can't? would you continue to love that person unconditionally?
i feel like i am going to breakdown soon. i can't take it no more. am i just an emotional tampon? and i that fool to her that would always stand by her? probably i am. but i don't blame her for what she has done. because not once have i ever said that i mind.
"i am living proof of what love is about"
Bittersweet
Sweet is when i find your name and picture flashing on my ringing handphone
Bitter is when you tell me you need to hang up
Sweet is when i pick you up from your place
Bitter is when i am waving to you from across the street
Sweet is when i wake up to a message from her
Bitter is going to sleep each night knowing she would not message me
Sweet is dreaming each night of us looking into each other eyes, smiling
Bitter is being woken by the alarm clock and brought back to the grim reality
Sweet is when i know i would get to see you the next day
Bitter is when i find out that you have to leave earlier
Sweet is when you hug me tightly
Bitter is when you turn and walk up the stairs
"when you see a person you love cry, you cry with them not comfort them"
"the feeling of like starts from the ear, but the feeling of love starts from the eyes. so if you want to stop liking a person, all you have to do is cover your ears. but if you try to close your eyes, love turns into a drop of tear and remains in your heart forever"
What am I supposed to do
With all these blues
Haunting me, everywhere, no matter what I do
Watching the candle flicker out in the evening glow
I can't let go
When will this night be over
I didn't mean to fall in love with you
And baby there's a name for what you put me through
It isn't love, it's robbery
I'm sleeping with the ghost of you and me
Seen a lot of broken hearts go sailing by
Phantom ships, lost at sea
And one of them is mine
Raising my glass, I sing a toast to the midnight sky
I wonder why
The stars don't seem to guide me
I didn't mean to fall in love with you
And baby there's a name for what you put me through
It isn't love, it's robbery
I'm sleeping with the ghost of you and me
The ghost of you and me
When will it set me free
I hear the voices call
Following footsteps down the hall
Trying to save what's left of my heart and soul
Watching the candle flicker out in the evening glow
I can't let go
When will this night be over
I didn't mean to fall in love with you
And baby there's a name for what you put me through
It isn't love, it's robbery
I'm sleeping with the ghost of you and me
I didn't mean to fall in love with you
And baby there's a name for what you put me through
It isn't love, it's robbery
I'm sleeping with the ghost of you and me
BBMak - Ghost Of You And Me
our first "couple-song"
i really don't know what i am doing with my life. its totally aimless without any drive whatsoever. major problem with me. go out bored, at home also bored. what kind of life is this? i know its not supposed to be a bed of roses but it does not have to be this kind of torture as well right? why am i putting myself through this? my brain is telling me to move on and stop hurting yourself, but my heart is doing the exact opposite and its hurting me like fuck.
y'all have no idea what it feels like to be me. mood swings can be associated with me these days. its not easy to come out of a relationship which you have put in so much time and effort. both of us did, yet why did things turn out this way? i really wonder if she has given up hope on me? i wonder about what is running through her mind? must things really be that complicated? temptation is a word used very often in a relationship. we have seen many cases where temptation caused problems and downfalls. yet why do we fall into the trap of temptation?
why aren't we programmed to be like computers? you can delete any information or memory that you do not like with just a push of a button. why can't people just remember nice things? why must there be a room for all your sad memories? i have read books that wrote things like "after my father left my mother, she withered away. eventually she died a few months later. when people asks me how my mother died, i would reply that she died of a broken heart." the rational people might say her death could be due to old age (which is probably true). but having a broken heart kills a person will. people say be strong. but tell me honestly, how strong can one be? eventually you would succumb, tears would flow, hearts will ache.
why am i saying all these? would it make any difference? probably i just need to get some things out of my system. but i can say that when i wake up tomorrow, same thoughts will be running through my mind again. it seems that my life is fixed at night these days. i am still waiting for the sun to rise again.
towards the end of "us", i sort of approached our relationship using more of my head rather than my heart. probably that's why i can only remember vividly the first 2 years of our relationship. i can remember our first argument very well but yet i can't remember what we argued about during our last. i can remember the days that led to me asking her to be my girlfriend but yet i can hardly remember the days leading up to our breakup. all those times we sat at the old world trade center watching the sunset and talking about things. i remember every conversation we had there. how we made fun of the indian men there holding hands there and said that they made us feel like the "odd-couple" as well as the merlion's eyes being flirtatious. those silly yet cute conversations. i also remember how we used to share one cup noodle and a bottle of drink with a stick of fishball cause we did not have enough money back in secondary school. those piggy-back rides as well. i wish i could tell all the things we said and done. they were so sweet and lovely yet why did i throw it all down the drain.
all the times i fell she was there to pick me up again. brush the dirt off my knee, tell me everything's going to be alright with her around. she would hug me and cry with me. she was my pillar but yet i had to hack at it. make dents and cracks in it until it finally crumbled. i now know how she really feels. the pain, sadness that she had to endure just to love me. why did i put her through that path? why did i take her for granted and only regret after losing her?
i just realised that i have been blogging for the past hour. thoughts, memories running through my mind. tears running down my cheeks. is this what love is all about? to me, love means 2 people putting in effort to make each other happy or smile. if you are not completely happy and contented, then there is no love. simple as that. i get irritated when i hear of people getting into a relationship for fun. wonder what they are thinking off. why am i telling you guys these? i'ma make myself look like a complete idiot. but wells, i guess this is a side of me you guys have never seen. my head hurts so much right now. think i might just go off to bed real soon.
she does not have my blog address so i guess its ok to say this: i really miss you alot girl. its not easy to walk away pretending that i no longer love you or feel for you anymore. i try to hide it but sometimes it just gets so bad. if only i would ever have the chance to love you again. i swear that the tears you cry would be those of joy and not those of hurt. i'ma be your king and you'll be my queen. we'll cross obstacles together, not alone. but until that day comes, i'll just be here for you when you need someone to be there. you'll never be alone. i just want you to be happy.
sing to me
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